Letting Go and Laying it Down
For such a long time now, in my mind, I’ve been going on about so many things. Things such as why do i feel so alone, why do i feel like i’m condemned (even a little) no matter where i go, feel like people are out to make me feel not welcomed and so on.
But then one day something happened(obviously not going to mention what it is), and I got so freaking worked up over it. In my head I was like “Don’t i have enough in my mind to worry about, enough to frustrate about. And something like this have got to happened right there and then.” I took a lots of deep breath to try to calm myself down, walk around but still couldn’t get it out of my head. Then I took a time out and tried diverting the attention on my mind to something else, and that’s when i chanced upon a question which i have no pondered on for ages.
Why am I so affected by it?
This is the one question that so many people have asked when their friends are frustrated about something, but not when they themselves are going through something as they don’t have the time to slow down and stop to process what’s happening…
When i started really thinking about that question, i calmed down so much, and even had so much thoughts after it to be able to say I’ll forgive, let go, lay it all down.
Forgive and forget? I’ve never really believed in forgetting. Don’t tell me you’ll forget about someone betraying your trust when you are going to believe him with something again(not saying it happened for me, but as an example). Things, incidents, these can never be forgotten. The only difference comes from how we deal with the emotions running wild inside of us when the issue surfaces again. Are we able to calm down, think in a way such that the whole issue is just a misunderstaning, a way where people tend to fault others, or in a way where everyone else is the culprit and you alone are the victim. There are so many different ways to react to so many different situation. The only question left to answer is, are we bold and courageous enough to face all these, and say i forgive.
I have, i mean, i am trying, though there will be times where i fall again, but then again, we’re humans right? I’ve let it down, lay it before God to let Him deal with it in my life. I’m not perfect, but at the very least i can try to be forgiving, as for what others have done to me, i might also have done it to others…